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Discussion Starter #1
I'm going autocrossing this weekend with my boyfriend. We're taking MY car and HIS car... yes TWO cars. It's in Iowa, I'm in Chicago... common knowledge places that at least 3-4 hours away. My car = MINE... my name's on the title and everything.
So my problem is that my parents are making a HUEG deal about it. I told them about it TWO WEEKS AGO! That's when Greg and I decided to go and signed up for it. Since then, every time I mention it I get the following comments:
"Do you have to drive so far in your car?! That's a lot of milage, gas and wear and tear... and gas is SO expensive!!!"
"Why do you have to race your car? What if something happens... I don't want that on my insurance!"
"Why are you taking two cars? Why can't you just go in Greg's car??"

First, I have been paying for my own gas (and evrything else except insurance for right now) since I got the car. In fact, the ONLY way my parents are helping me out is by letting me live at home and paying my insurance and cell phone (which was a gift from them a couple years ago). I owe them $4500 for the remainder of my car (20K of it was a college grad present from my grandparents) and THAT'S IT! I have a full-time job and am buying my own food, clothes, car stuff, etc. and am working to save up what I owe them and will be starting to pay my insurance next year.
I've also explained the concept of autocrossing ("All it is is going around a short windy track ALONE... and this one's a go-kart track without cones or barricades, so if I were to go off the track I'd just go onto grass", which is the truth). It's only $25 to run, plus gas. I don't see the problem with it.
I've ALSO said that it will be a good learning experience for me... a good chance to learn the way the car handles and how to control it better. Which, as far as I'm concerned, is also true.
I've finally told them that Greg and I are just taking my car, but I STILL am not being left alone about it. Is it really that big of a deal? Does any other 22-year-old here have parents like this?! I'm SO sick of hearing about it... UGH!
Any advice on how to get them to SHUT UP!? I'm staying the night tomorrow at Greg's so I don't have to hear about it tmorrow too, but I've been hearing about it since Monday CONSTANTLY! IT'S REALLY PISSING ME OFF!!! I don't want to deal with this every time I want to do something fun with my car!!!
HELP!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 

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Wish I could offer some advice. It's your car do what you want. However it's your parents insurance. I can't really say I would let my kid race on my insurance either.

Oh well. What ever you do don't ever fight with your parents. I made that mistake and now I regret something for the first time in my life.

Lifes too short to fight about stupid things like this.

I guess my advice to you, try to find a happy medium with your parents. See it from thier side, and help them see it from your side. Either way at least you try to make it work. Not just throw your arms up in disgust.

Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
See the thing is, for my entire life i've been the one to compromise. I've never been able to make a decision without getting shat on for it. And now that I've finally found something I enjoy and can have fun doing (and is legal, since i won't race on the streets), they're shooting me down again. It's not like i'm not trying to see it fromt heir point of view. I understand that it's miles and wear and tear and gas and stuff, but it's nothing really unsafe, no one else will be driving my car, i'm not doing drugs or drinking... IT'S MY CAR!! I JUST DONT GET IT!
ok, i'm not going to get into how things are... lets just say I'm STILL calling them every night I go out to let them know where i'm going, when i'll be home, if i'm coming home, who i'll be with, etc. I'M 22 and graduated college... and they're STILL requesting this (and if I don't call, THEY call ME!). I'm sick of being treated like this and can't understand why I can't start doing what I want to do with MY things.
And as far as ins goes, I am under the impression that they are paying as a favor to me. My paying has NEVER been discussed. If they want me to pay they need to start giving me the bills. Things have been hectic here, so I understand that thigns have gotten pushed aside for more important things, but I don't get why they have to hold me back from something like this. I'm not going skydiving or anything...

edit, and my beign treated like a child has been discussed NUMEROUS times, and it always ends up with me getting worked up and upset and whoever i'm talking to tellig me that if i want to be treated like an adult i need to stop crying and start acting like one, "then we'll talk". obviously they're oblivious to the fact that when something is important to me i get upset and emotional (like most women)... UGH.
 

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ouch. parrents are just going to be who they are. if you have the car in your name with insurance. your gas and so on. I can't see what there problem is. 4500 is nothing. I pay $500 a month on my car. They wont get it until you have done it a few times and they realize nothing will change. My mom now instead of saying anything bad about my car she now says "faster faster!!!" my dad is still being stupid. told me he will be impressed when I get a f250 diesal truck. ok sure $40k truck and what's the monthly? :eek3: ya right not going to happen any time soon. This is the same man that had no idea where his intercooler was or how it worked. then in 100k has never sceen a service. I mean hello thats just real smart. I owe my dad $9k for the business. tells me today that he will write me out of his will if I dont pay him. I am like ok like what ever. I am the only kid. :D sure whats he going to do have another? sure not. I have to tell my parrents there place when there being stupid. Trust me this wont change anytime soon. my employee laughs at my father and his crap. that says so much right there. ofcourse this man screwed me last year out of a lot of money and screwed my credit and does not care a bit about it. parrents dont change fast. I do 120 miles a day now that's driving. 1 hour each way a day. few hours away to go have fun whats wrong with that. I take it that they are not into fast or fun cars as they sound to practical. no harm in fun. just make sure you dont eat it like that guy at button willow in the back of one of the recent mags. flattened his front end with fire = dead car. but parrents worry to much. mine used to worry about my driving from north to socal. 6hr drive in a car with 300,000 car. I know that car would be fine. now they worry about how tired I will get. I left north car monday at 8pm and got home at 3am. now that might be something to worry about. tell them there is nothing to worry about. I think If I am correct you have to take a driving class to race? if so remind them of that. it's not like they said "no" idther so realize that they have not and go have fun. they are worried over nothing. even though I will make $100+k this year they still try and tell me whats right to do. ok so that means I make 300% more then them. ok something is wrong with that. ;) if you have not guessed the parrents are not togeather for a long time. I leared a lot being on my own. it's worth every penny not living at home. have fun and post some pics!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
carlitos said:
move out.
working on it... have to save $$ rent's not cheap here. a decent 1 bdr. is at least 750 a month, plus garage (x2 'cause we both want one), utilities, pet fees (if we can have one), maintenance, phone, cable, internet... you get the idea. oh yea and food... bah. once i get a decent chunk saved i'm gettin outta here.

hybrid: i agree with you... they're just being stupid. there's no drive class needed for this run, but it's not a huge thing and Greg (who's sorta taken a class) will run thru it with me a couple times in his car and then in mine to show me pointers and stuff.
i think part of this me *****ing thing has to do with just being frustrated that i hear the same **** from them over and over and over, and i'm sick of it... and sick of being treated like a kid when i'm an adult in the working world and need to start experiencing things on my own.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
rokyholler said:
jeez, parents think they can run our lives just because they raised us:rolleyes:

are you being sarcastic??


if you aren't don't bother reading the rest here...

if you ARE, you must have had cool parents who didn't enfocea 10:30 curfew (even on weekends), read your diary, listen to your phone calls, not listen to how you feel because "you don't know what you're talking about" (despite the fact that they're YOUR feelings)... yeah. did I mention that I NEVER did drugs, drank or smoked. and once I started drinking I found out that it's bad for me 'casue of medical reasons and stopped. when I was a kid, my favorite thing to do was READ. remind me again why I need to be treated like I'm 15 when I'm 22???
 

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Unfortunately, your parents will probably treat you like a child for as long as you live under their roof.

I just graduated from college and moved out immediately. I live in a different state now and my parents still like to bug me about stuff.

Sorry I don't have an answer for ya, but it really sucks.
 

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They will always be your parents, learn to deal with it. I'm 32 now and my father is coming to stay with us this weekend. It will be the first time he see's that we have motorcycles and I'm sweating it big time. 32, husband, father, homeowner and I'm worried about what he'll say...lol. ;)

As far as the insurance....are they just paying for your policy or are you on theirs? Because if you are on their policy you could be putting that at risk by autocrossing. The insurance company could drop you all if they found out. Remote chance, but not totally outside the realm of possibility. If that is what is going on, you shouldn't run the autox. Sorry. You are demanding to be treated like an adult, and that would be the adult thing to do.
 

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Discussion Starter #12 (Edited)
i had no idae that ins would drop me if they found out about autox. why is that? even if it's a registered event on a course and everything? i doubt my parents know that. thay are paying me on their policy... they have it worked out with all 4 of the cars in our family so that it's the cheapest for all of us.

dropping out might be the "adult thing to do", but i've been counting on doing this for weeks, and yea... i'm just irritated with them. they can sit and lecture me and lecture me and stuff, but the second i want to talk they're too busy or don't want to discuss it or whatever.

i cant wait to get out of here... and even that's an issue, 'cuase it "doesn't look right" that i'm going to be living with my boyfiend (soon-to-be-fiance) of 4 years...

no one else i know has to deal with parents like this...

i need to go to bed...

edit: and i just found out that my best friend's engaged and didn't tell me... her fiance just did :( maybe it's just one of those weeks.......
i'll shut up now.
 

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I'm expecting others that may have gone through this to chime in, but yes - I seem to remember reading posts from people before that were dropped by insurance companies. In some cases the only thing they could figure was because they were on an autocross roster.
 

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#1 - You won't be dropped from insurance for an autocross. Its like 99% likely that nothing bad will happen to you, just don't be stupid, and don't be afraid to ask questions. I may suggest hitting a more local autocross sometime later on and us local guys can help you out - I'm in Milwaukee, I can point you in the direction of some of the subie guys in chicago if you need me to.

#2 - You've gotta just deal with them until you move out. They seem the type that want to hang onto the control. If you want 100% freedom with your car, pay your own insurance. Yeah, bills suck, but its gonna be the only way.

#3 - Print this thread out, and read it in 2-3 years once you're on your own. It'll make you appreciate where you're at more.

My parents think my rally car is a waste of money. It is a waste of money, but its the most fun I've ever had wasting money in my life. They've realized its what I want to do, and they support me now, offering up garage space for winter storage, and stuff like that.

Jay
 

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Have to add my two cents and its not nice.

You are 22 and demand being treated like an adult, yet you live under your parents roof, are under their insurance policy which they pay for, got almost the entire car paid for from a graduation present, and really arent standing on your own two feet regardless of college graduation or not.

Its time to be an adult and realize that sure its your car but guess what? Your parents are paying for it, AND you still live under their roof. Think of it as a business partnership. Although you may be running the business (ie paying for the remainder of the car), your parents/partners are still financially backing you (ie paying for insurance/keeping you on their policy). Therefore you dont get to make 100% of the decision because you arent the entire company.

Also, just to add, I realize that it is hard to get out on your own, so I am not saying now to just jump ship, but hey you still have backing from mom and dad, you still have to compromise with them.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
ok i'm really going to bed soon...

first, believe me i appreciate life more than most people my age. dont want to get itno it, but i'll just say i was introduced to death a lot faster and a lot sooner than any of my friends were.

second, i cannot look at the way my parents treat me as a professional relationship. yes, they are supporting me, mainly, right now, i suppose. however, the fact that my grandparents were generous with my graduation gift (and my cousin's might i add... she got the same deal), has nothing to do with them. it was my choice to go over the limit and i have to pay for it. it's not my fault that my dad has not had the time to figure out how he wants me to pay him back yet. also, it's not like my parents are waiting for me to move out so they can move and downsize to a condo. quite the opposite. my parents are adding a huge addition on to our house... a 5th bedroom, new family room and bigger kitchen. it prob wont get started until next year too, meaning i'll (hopefully) be gone by then. in fact, my parents want me to live at home until i'm married (which, if it were up to them, would be in 5-8 years, despite the long-term, monogamous, SERIOUS relationship). if they were normal and i could hang out till 2am thursday nights with all the car people in schaumburg and not have to worry that they're calling every hospital in lake and cook counties (yea, they've done that too... last May in fact), living at home longer wouldnt be a problem. i know they love me and worry about me becasue of it, but i feel like i'm going to have to call them to let them know i'm remembering to breathe when i move out and am not at school. and i know it could be a lot worse... but sometimes it just PISSES ME OFF.

off to bed, and shut off the computer so it doesn't get "accidentally" looked at while I'm gone this weekend...

edit: sometimes i think itwould be easier just to jump ship... i am considering moving in with greg's parents, 'casue they are really easygoing and stuff. i suppose we'll see how fall goes...
 

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Super Scoob said:
Have to add my two cents and its not nice.

You are 22 and demand being treated like an adult, yet you live under your parents roof, are under their insurance policy which they pay for, got almost the entire car paid for from a graduation present, and really arent standing on your own two feet regardless of college graduation or not.

Its time to be an adult and realize that sure its your car but guess what? Your parents are paying for it, AND you still live under their roof. Think of it as a business partnership. Although you may be running the business (ie paying for the remainder of the car), your parents/partners are still financially backing you (ie paying for insurance/keeping you on their policy). Therefore you dont get to make 100% of the decision because you arent the entire company.
I hate to say it, but this guy makes sense. You can proclaim adulthood and independence 'til the cows come home, but if you're still living with the 'rents it's kinda meaningless. It may not sound like they're doing much for you, but you're going to find out otherwise when you move out into your own house. There are a thousand hidden expenses and duties involved in having a household with children in it. (I have 2 young daughters, and it's a continuous source of amazement for me...)

I enjoy your posts, and respect your viewpoint, so please don't take this the wrong way: Until you are out on your own, and financially independent of them, your parents are going to feel that they have a right to some sayso in your life. It's something that you're not going to understand until you are a parent, but they have made tremendous sacrifices for your sake. It's going to be a tough sell to convince them that they are to partially support you, but have to let you do anything you want, anytime you want.

Get your own place and pay your own bills! That will earn their respect, and you will have every right to tell them to mind their own affairs...
 

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Trust me Butterflie, i know exactly where you are coming from. My dad is just as bad if not worse, I am 24 AND paying for my own insurance. I do have to respect his wishes becuase like everyone has said, I am still living under his roof. The old saying "my roof, my rules" applys, ya know? I know your parents love you and don't want anything to happen to you. Too many "what if's" run through their head.

There might be a few options though. Being that it is your first autox, I would see if you can be a co-driver in Greg's car. It will give you experience and possibly give your parents the confidence that it is safe. Another possibility is have them come to the autox to watch. This might calm their nervs a bit esp. if you are sitting watching with them for a bit.

I have learned that when talking to parents it is crucial to stay controlled and calm. It is the same with most situations, an accident, a complaint phone call, etc. If you go out there screaming, the other person gets defensive and then you have just lost the battle because they are worked up now too. When people are worked up, everyone has a one track mind and all logic and reasoning go out the window. The secret is staying calm, cool and collected.

I hope this helped alittle bit. Let us know how it comes out. Good Luck!

~myke

ps. pleeeeeeeeeease wear at least a helmet when you autox. In my book, it is like not seatbelting :)
 

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I agree with Rayfield and Super Scoob.

What it boils down to is: stop b*tching.

You got a free car, free insurance, and free room and board. You say moving out onto your own will be difficult because you will have to pay all the listed bills, but guess what: your parents are paying all those bills right now, so you should be grateful to them.

I don't understand why people complain and say things like, "I'm 22 years old! I am an adult! I should have the freedom to do what I want!" Well, that freedom includes the freedom to move out if you don't like the rules of the people who are supporting you. So if you don't like it, quit taking all the free stuff they are giving to you and move out. Then you can pay for everything yourself and have the freedom to do what you want whenever you want to.

Also, supporting yourself is not too difficult. You might not eat as good quality food, you might have to sacrifice doing some of the things you want because they are too expensive, but it isn't too difficult to do. I pay for my own insurance, car payment, rent, food, Internet, phone, electric, water, gas, et cetera, and I have a pretty sh*tty job. If you want to keep the extra money, live with your parents and abide by their rules.

The bottom line is: you're twenty-two years old. By now, your adolescent angst and parent-related hatred should have worked itself out.
 
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