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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So what are the "real" driving laws where everyone else is from? here are some of the colorado rules of the road:

1: when driving in the left lane, always travel at the speed limit or under. when someone passes you on the right, flash your brights, speed up, cut them off, and slow down again.

2: if you see a car without a christian fish on it, at the first opportunity, get out of your car, walk over to the driver's window, and lecture them about morals. (yes this really did happen to me at a major intersection)

3: turn signals should not be used....ever. what if you change your mind? then you just confuse everyone else.

4: if you look in your rear view mirror and there is a car within view, slow down immediately, even if there is no one stopping in front of you.
 

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djrez4 said:




3: turn signals should not be used....ever. what if you change your mind? then you just confuse everyone else.

They follow this rule RELIGIOUSLY in Arkansas.Their reason is because the bulb may go out.They also hit the brake or slow down,on an ON ramp.:rolleyes: :D
 

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in NY there is one rule

you MUST drive like a total a$$ because you're the only one on the road and you're the only person that matters and only your destination is important
 

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I hate when people brake on the freeway. I control speed by looking and planning ahead using my gas and not my brake. A true quality of a good driver...
 

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hey djrez4--
hows it going? i go to school at CU... yeah driving in Colorado can be a pain in the ass, especially out in the mountains on two lane roads with only an occasional passing lane.
now that i think of it, pennsylvania (near philadelphia) isnt too much better. oh well, i guess bad driving is everywhere...
o-|-<) bryan
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
come on you slackers! :D be creative!
 

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5. The closer you drive to the car ahead of you, the faster you will get to your destination.

6. Headlights may not be used until 2 hours after sunset. Parking lights only will be used until this time.

7. If you blindly turn right onto the rightmost lane of a 4 lane road, and you realize there is a car coming up behind you rapidly, you should immediately swerve into the left lane without signaling.

8. Acceleration on higway onramps is prohibited. You must maintain 25 mph until you are safely on the highway.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
FUNKED1 said:
7. If you blindly turn right onto the rightmost lane of a 4 lane road, and you realize there is a car coming up behind you rapidly, you should immediately swerve into the left lane without signaling.
9: when waiting to turn left at a turn lane, be sure someone from the opposite direction is about to turn right onto the same street, then turn all the way into the far lane, cutting him off.
 

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10: First and foremost while driving a car on public roads is your apparence (females should apply makeup while driving)
11: People should attempt to impress others with their ability to read a NOVEL and drive at the same time
12: Your communication skills can and should be shown off to other drivers by NOT using a hands free cell phone kit while it is installed in the car.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
wow campbell...

it sounds like you drive in chicago or something! :D
(BTW...i grew up there...)
 

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13- Even though you drive a compact car, you must always make extremely wide right turns (just like the semis do). The farther away from the curb, the better.

14-If someone goes past you on another lane, that doesn't even affect you, Flash your lights, honk and stick your hand out the window, palm down and make an up and down motion. This will educate the other driver as to how slow you have to drive when you are mentally retarded.

15- When you see a stop sign, stop in the middle of the intersection, this will give you a better vantage point to see if somebody's coming.

16-When the roads are dry, slow down. When there's snow on the the roads, drive as fast as possible, especially if you drive an S.U.V., with that 4 x 4 you have nothing to worry about. Besides, those things corner like they are on rails.

17-Remember, the larger your vehicle is, the less you have to worry about safety. Let the other saps, in their compact cars worry about dieing by you not braking soon enough.

18- The lines that divide the lanes, are purely decorative, nobody stays within them anyway.

19-When you need to make a left turn into a driveway and there's a turning lane to do it from. Do not use it. Stay in the regular lane and make your turn from there. Turning from a turning lane is illegal and these lanes are put there only to remind you that you shouldn't use them. Remember, the more people you hold up behind you, the better.

20- Remember that people can't see you through your untinted glass, so it is safe to pick your nose.
 

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21. Always remember that whoever has the biggest vehicle always has the right-of-way when merging into traffic.

21.1 Unless of course the bigger vehicle is a brand new Escalade, or another 40k+ vehicle, and your vehicle is a rusted out p.o.s. w/no insurance, then you always have the right-of-way

22. Red lights are only a suggestion, really as long as your about to enter the intersection when the light turns red, it's okay

23. I can't believe anyone hasn't said this yet...If you lose a race because your car is just freakin slow you must, at all cost, perform the infamous ricer flyby. Just to show them what your V-Tech can do in the top end...and don't forget to flash your hazards to let everyone know how fast your ride is.
 

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If you have a truck, you must put straight pipes on it and try to race every japanese car out there.

If someone takes off from a light faster than you, you must pass them, cut them off and then slam on the brakes coming to a complete stop before going again.

If someone is your lane is supposed to merge, just go without looking. If someone is in your way, they'll just go off the road.

If someone is driving the speed limit, you must get on their bumper, then back off, then close again. (repeat until you can pass)

If you see someone broken down at a stoplight with their hood up, sit behind them for a while, then honk, start yelling and flip them off before leaving. Don't bother to help.

If you live on a farm, you must get very large chunks of mud all over the road. People love to dodge them.

If you drive a dump truck, you must drop as many rocks out of the back as you can. You get 20 points for each car's paint that you destroy.

Don't bother to look before passing on a 2 lane road. The car coming at you has brakes.

When you pull up to a 4 way stop at the same time as another person, wait for them to go and try to go when they do. When they hit their brakes, you do the same. Wave them on and then go again when they do. Go back to step 1 and repeat 4 times.

If you're old, you absolutely must drive only 35. Not higher, not lower. You also must come to a complete stop before turning as your car may tip over when you enter the corner.

If you're pulling a boat or a trailer, drop the wheels off on the shoulder as much as possible so you can spray the cars behind you with rocks.

And for heaven's sake, if you see a cop, slam on the brakes even if you're going 10 mph below the speed limit!!! Your speedo may be off.
 

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junaitari said:

When you pull up to a 4 way stop at the same time as another person, wait for them to go and try to go when they do. When they hit their brakes, you do the same. Wave them on and then go again when they do. Go back to step 1 and repeat 4 times.

And for heaven's sake, if you see a cop, slam on the brakes even if you're going 10 mph below the speed limit!!! Your speedo may be off.
holy crap, i honestly laughed out loud at these :eek:
 

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I would have to say that this is a pretty complete list of rules!

And djrez4 I do hail from the Chicago Suburbs. Thats where I learned to drive so I know all the rules up there!
 

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here are some boston ones

36. recklessly switch lanes to avoid puddles. that water is acid you know, and the other car's passengers completely understand once their dead. saving that mercedes paint job is number one.

37. that yield sign entering a rotary is completely optional. as long as your nose gets in there, it doesn't really matter how fast the oncoming car is going. you beat him in there and that's the point.

38. let your kids bounce around the back seat like it's f*cking romper room. if you lose one out the window, big deal! you can always pop out one or two more.

39. it's completley fine to go the wrong way down a one-way street as long as you are in reverse. the sign only references the way your car is pointing, not the direction of the street.

40. park on the curb. go ahead! no one uses the damn sidewalks anyway.

41. if you are biking, pretend you are a car. go on all the main roads with higher speed limits than you can pedal. drive in the middle lane, signal for turns, waqit at stop signs. BUT when it suits you, break all the laws. cut off a truck, slip in between everyone else waiting in line at the red light, turn on red, and use the sidewalks.

42. your SUV give you the right to hop median strips, corners, curbs and sidewalks at your own volition. bang a U-y on I-90! why? becasue you have big wheels.

43. park so close to the person next to you that you need to get out through the sunroof. either that or just continue to slam your door into the neighboring car until you have enough room to squeeze out. if everyone does this, there might be one extra space in the lot once it's full.

dR
 

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hahahhahahahahahah

I must look really stupid to everyone around me because I'm laughing out loud staring at a computer screen
 

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44- If you are lost and don't know where you are going, Do Not pull off the road and ask for directions. Instead, Stop in the middle of the road and park. Check your map. Once you have checked your map and still have no idea where you are going, start driving at 10mph in a 45mph street in order to better look at your surroundings and get familiar with the area you are lost in.

45- Remember that there is no more important safety rule, than taking it upon yourself to regulate other people's speed by cutting them off.

46- If you are in a parking lot and ding the neighboring car's door, don't worry about trying to pay for the repairs. That stuff is covered under the warranty of the car because it's part of the natural wear and tear of driving.

47-If there is an accident on the other side of the median during rush hour traffic. Make sure to slow down and try to look. It is entertaining to watch somebody's mangled body plus, it keeps the people behind you in check as they too do not pay attention to the road and try to look for dead bodies.

48-Above everything else, cut off a speeding 16 wheeler that's going 65 miles per hour, while you go 20 in your ugly truck. If the semi hits you, the safety belt that you are not wearing will surely protect you from any harm that may come your way.
 

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49-When you are entering a roundabout, do not bother go around it if you have to get to a place on your left hand side. The arrow that tells you the direction that you have to go, only applies to the people that are going to turn right or go straight.
 
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