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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What do some of you guys think when your girls still talk with there ex boyfriends?? isint it right to be a little jealous?! I mean i totally seem to think everytime she talks to an ex flame or an ex BF just makes me aggravated, i mean you know it will always be in her mind there relationship and ****, but i would just rather not know or hear about it!!! why cant girls just forget about there ****ing ex's and move on once they have found someone they are totally in love with!! hehehe.. its not the talking with them, its just the thoughts that come to my mind when they talk to them, like all the **** they did together or whatever, AM I JUST NUTS HERE??? I am totally in love and am going to marry this girl but **** like this makes me crazy! I mean i would totally do anythign for her and not talk to any of my ex's (AND DON't because i dont feel its right!!!)

Post some opinions PLEASE!!!



Rob
 

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Well, that depends. Is he named Steve?? :D

Seriously, though, I'm not a big fan of jealousy. I believe you should trust your sig other completely, until they give you concrete reasons not to. Not long before I got married my fiance actually went out to dinner and a movie with one of her exs, just to catch up. She was all worried that I'd be ticked that she was even asking, but I told her, "hey, have fun, I trust you." I figure, if something's gonna happen, I'd rather it happen before the wedding, anyway.

Trust is key to a happy relationship. Sometimes that means getting tough with yourself to keep jealousy under control. It's worth it in the long run, IMO.
 

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Ha too funny this post is up here because of what I was told this week. Check this out. I have to control my jealousy while next weekend my g/f flies to New York because her ex bought her a ticket to exchange everything and to have closure. As odd as it seems I'm pretty ok with it right now. If you can't trust your sig. then what's the point? And she is the most trustworthy person I know so that makes it so much easier.
 

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I gotta disagree, but just because I got burned. Long story and I'm happily married (to someone else) now, but your girl talking to an ex is never good. It's time for her to move on.
 

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I've been burned, and people I know have been burned too. I agree that trust is essential, but at the same time, if your girlfriend knows it bugs you but still talks to him, then part of the trust relationship is gone, imho. It's like she's not trusting or honoring your feelings on the matter.
 

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I don't know if it's about jealousy, but for me, it's be about respect- and practicing what you preach- I can tell you that most of the women I know would not be happy if their S/O went to "catch up" or "hang out" with an ex.
 

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For the most part it doesn't bother me because I guess those I dated who still talked with their ex I didn't date very seriously. On the other hand, my current gf talks with an ex from a long time ago (dated him for over 3 years) and I actually knew her back when they were dating and I talked with both of them. I know how much of an uncaring jerk he is, so I don't worry about it now. But even when she was hanging out with her most recent ex (while being 1000 miles from me) it didn't bother me, which I think it would since I really do care about this girl...she's not like the others I dated just to date someone.

But in reverse she's worried about me talking with my ex's which I don't contact at all anymore. So it's kind of funny that she's worried about something that doesn't happen and I'm not worried about something that does happen. ;)
 

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jealousy is a curse - I know I don't get any prizes for stating the bleed'n obvious but hey.

It comes down to your own self esteem and confidence in the relationship. If she is going to re-kindle things with the ex - throwing a fit about it is not going to fix anything, if anything it will drive them away from you and towards them (exactly the situation you were trying to avoid by trying to stop her talking to the ex?!!).

I say let 'em be. But make sure you listen to your girl. And I mean listen (like turn off the tv and not just nod!). If she is talking to the ex because she feels you are non-communicative, then you are already in a hole that you need to haul arse out of as quick as you can - but whatever you do - don't throw a fit!! Don't even mention it to her that it concerns you (coz that is your problem - she shouldn't have to compensate for it).

Cheers,

Andrew

PS: I talk to ex's of mine - good friends a lot of them. I give gfs of mine one hissy fit about it. I will explain that they are friends and that there is no desire to re-kindle anything and that they should be secure that I am with them. I'll walk on a relationship if I cop grief over it. They are welcome to talk to any of them - I have never cheated - never will.
 

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Only you can be the judge of whether your particular significant other can be trusted to hang out with her ex. If you are getting uncomfortable with it, yet she still does it then maybe she's not the person you should be with anyway.

I would be asking myself why does she WANT to hang out with her ex? My wife is my best friend, and as a marriage progresses over the years you find that your circle of close friends narrows down to a small group of couples with similar situations in life. I think it is then unusual for a married person to have a very close friend of the opposite sex where the friendship wasn't formed through association with another couple. i.e. The females I am friends with are my wife's friends, or the wives and gfs of my buddies.

I'm not saying that all relationships should be that way, but I think it's more 'normal' per se when you have been with your partner for a long time. Three's a crowd, so to speak. ;)

-Pace
 

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Next time you see your gf talking to an ex go up kiss the nearest girl and then when she freaks out just say "That was my ex, I was just catchin up" That should open a can of worms for ya !
 

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OK - you guys are starting to talk about a different area - hanging out one on one with an ex on a regular basis is kinda odd(nice words). I guess I was talking about the once every few months 'how ya doing' phone call, or an impromptu beer at the pub because they were both there for other reasons - not the arranged going to the ex's house for pizza and a video.

I have a very different situation - because of regular postings courtesy of her magesty's Royal Australian Air Force, my ex's are spread over the country and I am rarely in the same city, let alone zip code. If I am on travel, we'll have a meal and beer, but I am at the hotel, in bed, alone and on the phone with the current gf by midnight!

I would get a call about once a month from Aust from an ex to just shoot the breeze - most of them are with other guys (good on em) we talk because we ARE friends. My gf is OK about it (mind you these girls are half a world away) not like they are a threat!!

Andrew
 

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Be afraid, be very afraid.

If she's talking to Steve, chances are they are "friends with privileges" or that is in their past or future.
 

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talking to an ex online from a long time ago that you happen to still be friends with is one thing...

flirting in person and dinner and a movie with them is something else...

but yeah trust is the key factor...
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
True going with an ex out to the movies is deff differant then talking to them online or on the phone, especially if u had a date with me the next day!!!! ;) ;) ;)

But talking online and on the phone are of the same caliber IMO...



NOTE TO SELF:::: DONT ASK FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WHEN YOU ARE GETTING YOUR GIRLFRIEND INTO READING THE SAME BOARD THAT U DO!!!!! I love u baby, more then anything, but it seems like theres a lot of people out here who are like me HEHEHE.... I love my baby hurry and get over [email protected]!!!



Rob
 

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RobPA said:




NOTE TO SELF:::: DONT ASK FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE WHEN YOU ARE GETTING YOUR GIRLFRIEND INTO READING THE SAME BOARD THAT U DO!!!!!


Rob
dumbass lol j/k j/k

i will leave any further posts off the boards because its not neccesary to have it here :)
 

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RobPA said:


But talking online and on the phone are of the same caliber IMO...
I think online is a softer version, cause you don't have to be talking the whole time. There can be a lot of awkward silences on the phone that I am usually not a fan of. Online you can think about what to type, delete stuff, and say "Sorry I had to go get a drink" when you really can't think of anything to say. ;)
 

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also remember this...

chicks often don't "count" sex with exes.

it is one of THE BIG loopholes, like being on vacation, only with exes they have the added bonus of not having to increment their total number of partners (thus aiding convincing themselves they are not ****s).

VERY DANGEROUS.
 

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rally_wannabe said:
also remember this...

chicks often don't "count" sex with exes.

it is one of THE BIG loopholes, like being on vacation, only with exes they have the added bonus of not having to increment their total number of partners (thus aiding convincing themselves they are not ****s).

VERY DANGEROUS.
Yes, Rob, beware of Steve's.

Shon, nice to see you posting. ;)

RW,

A girlfriend of mine slept with an ex when we were "on a break" and she didn't think it was a big deal. You bring up an excellent point.

-Jim
 
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