Very sorry for your loss!
Especially that it was acheived by your ex gf (was she your EX at the time)? I sure hope it was accidental!
The problem with modding vehicles is that it's never a good invetment, and you're only throwing money into a hobby. Were any of the mods recoverable?
Finding another red WRX will be extremely difficult, but maybe opportunity will knock and you'll find yourself with an STI Lmtd or something that will help ease the pain. Good luck with your search!