We all know it's stupid to work under a car without jackstands, right?
So I go out to look at my friend's Escort that won't start today. When you crank it, it makes a high pitched whine that sounds like the starter spinning without engaging the flywheel. I look under the hood and don't see it, so I decide to take a look underneath. I look inside - its in park - good. I procede to forget the fact that 1) its an automatic so she doesn't have the e-brake on and 2) its front wheel drive.
So we jack up the front of the car. I look at it and say "I don't really want to go under there without jack stands." Then I think out loud "Well, I'm not going to touch anything, just gonna look real quick -- it'll be fine."
I get underneath, look around a bit, and spot the starter. The next thing I know the oil pan is sitting on my chest and my friend is screaming "Oh my god are you alright?!" It had rolled forward off the jack because the rear wheels were of course spinning freely without a brake or drivetrain holding them in place. I yell at her to go get some help, while taking short gasps of air that I can fit in my lungs.
She runs over to my dorm room where about 5 people are sitting around playing Tetris, where she very calmly asks for help. You know -- not at all like "HEY JARED IS STUCK UNDER A CAR!! GET OUT HERE NOW!" Finally (after what seems like 20 minutes -- maybe 1 minute actually) she finds someone who slowly walks over to the car.
"DUDE, HURRY UP, I'M UNDER HERE!!!" Together they lift the car up just enough for me to get out with a torn, filthy shirt, the outline of an oil pan on my chest and stomach and a sore leg which I can't explain.. I think I was concentrating too much on breathing to notice anything else.
I'm now deathly afraid of lifted cars and I won't be going anywhere near one without jack stands ever again. Please, learn from me.