Banning people from my WRX?
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    Registered User MinamiRX's Avatar
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    Banning people from my WRX?

    Well I'm not banning people from my WRX but today me and the girlfriend argued about the things her friends do in my car. My girlfriend's friends has never had any respect for my car care. Through out the years and three different cars with me being the most relied on person for rides, they've puked, dropped food, stained, spelled drinks, spit and even smoked in my car. I've had a zero tolerance for most of those things, especially no smoking. I never forced anyone to clean up after themselves but have told them about what they can and can't do while in my car. The least bit they can do for me is respect me and my car for always picking them up when they were stranded.

    Well today, one of her friend spilled a whole bottle of liquor on the back of my car seat, in my new WRX. I have no idea how the cap wasn't closed tight but I was more pissed that the bottle wasn't on the floor where it belong with the heavy duty mat. So I got angry and kind of went on a spiel about how her friends have no respect for my car. She got angry at me and told me that I'm being a huge a-hole about it and taking it too far. I know it was disrespectful of me to raise my voice and talked to her friends like that but did I cross the line? I know it's just a car and I shouldn't get so hung up on it but I just feel like they have to at least respect my car rules since they are in my car. I can easily choose not to be their chauffeur but I do anyways so is it too much to ask?

    EDIT: I just want to add that me and my girlfriend didn't get into the confrontation because of the actual spill itself but more of the fact that I stepped over the line by yelling and cussing. She said what she said because she's was angry at my attitude. She understand my frustration and has tried remind her friends about my car rules. We've talked about it and settle it for the time being that we aren't going to be using my car.
    Last edited by MinamiRX; 05-29-2015 at 08:11 PM.
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    Registered User Rondizzle's Avatar
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    I would not be their chauffeur end of story. If they can't show enough respect to you and your car for driving them around they don't deserve your help. I'm amazed at the fact that these friends have no manners and don't know how to act in someone else's car. I applaud you for being able to put up with people like that because I know I sure as hell wouldn't be able to. Did your girlfriend ever tell them anything?
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    rocking hater blockers unseen's Avatar
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    she needs new friends. haha just kidding, but not really.

    i have a real issue with others lacking self awareness or awareness in having consideration for others. i dont advocate raising your voice or being disrespectful but would she show you the same level of courtesy if you accidentally spilled something on her michael kors bag or stepped on and scuffed up her vera wang heels.

    i dont live that lifestyle of pregaming or going out anymore but i can empathize from when i used to. its not cool. instead of continually getting into confrontation, or secretly upset about it, why not just discontinue being the DD or at the very least, offering up your whip.

    aint no way heads are going to puke in my whip without catching heat. then again, i wouldve avoided the opportunity.

    hope it works out.
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    Sammich Makin' Pwincess wrxtreme06's Avatar
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    as a female, let me chime in-

    you are 100% right here. her friends are completely disrespectful. i understand accidents do happen, but it seems this is definitely a pattern.

    i dont know if i would "ban" people from my car if i were you, however i would enforce a rule to where everything needs to go in the trunk. if you have beer- put it in the trunk. if you have a purse- put it in the trunk.

    it might seem silly, but if they dont want to follow the rules, they can find another ride.

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    Registered User TSlop's Avatar
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    I can't say that I've had this problem, but I feel ya. I've picked up my fiancé and her friends numerous times from the bar, and no one has caused any trouble. I do remember one time she stood stood on my rear bumper on my Speed3 and I had to tell her not to do that ever again!

    She isn't into cars like I am, but at least she respects how I feel about it. In your situation, if her friends ever caused trouble in my car, I would have told her and them to be careful or no more rides. A second time would be the last time I let it happen. After that I'd tell my fiancé that the rides are done and you need to take a taxi. It sounds like her friends don't have much class and respect for other's property. It's not being rude asking for people to respect your property... they should be smart enough to know it's a common courtesy.

    Also, if she has a car I'd use hers instead of mine to chauffeur her around for the bars (I'm assuming that is what your rides are mostly for, but I could be mistaken). That way she can deal with messes on her own.
    Last edited by TSlop; 05-29-2015 at 05:08 AM.
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    I'm with everyone else here, you are not in the wrong. Maybe this reaction would have been a little overboard if this was a first time accident, however, it seems that is not the case. You're reaction is perfectly fine and justified and it almost blows my mind that your GF was not taking your side on this one. Respect for other people's property is pretty important in my eyes and should be in everyone's eyes. It seems to be that way in your mind as well, but it does not seem to that way in her friend's minds or even her mind for that matter.... that would be a big problem to me in a lot of ways.

    Solution: No more rides for her friends in your car, period, ever. If they want driven by you somewhere while they are being disrespectful then tell them you are driving one of their cars or your GF's car. If they don't like either of those ideas then they all need to find another ride. Furthermore, if your GF doesn't respect this and your wants, then there is a lot more here that you should be worrying about other than this respect issue with her friends....
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    Registered User MinamiRX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rondizzle View Post
    I would not be their chauffeur end of story. If they can't show enough respect to you and your car for driving them around they don't deserve your help. I'm amazed at the fact that these friends have no manners and don't know how to act in someone else's car. I applaud you for being able to put up with people like that because I know I sure as hell wouldn't be able to. Did your girlfriend ever tell them anything?
    Thanks, I'm kind of that boyfriend that will be there if you call me 3 in the morning. I don't normally like it and it doesn't happen often so I can deal with it lol. Yes, she normally backs me up and tell her friends to be respectful, I'm pretty sure last night argument more than likely started because I did go overboard on my tone and volume.

    Quote Originally Posted by unseen View Post
    she needs new friends. haha just kidding, but not really.

    i have a real issue with others lacking self awareness or awareness in having consideration for others. i dont advocate raising your voice or being disrespectful but would she show you the same level of courtesy if you accidentally spilled something on her michael kors bag or stepped on and scuffed up her vera wang heels.

    i dont live that lifestyle of pregaming or going out anymore but i can empathize from when i used to. its not cool. instead of continually getting into confrontation, or secretly upset about it, why not just discontinue being the DD or at the very least, offering up your whip.

    aint no way heads are going to puke in my whip without catching heat. then again, i wouldve avoided the opportunity.

    hope it works out.
    Yes thanks, I'm no longer in that lifestyle myself, although I quit that lifestyle before college was over. She and her friends are still young and in college and I'm the old guy (around them) that wants everyone to be safe. We kind of discussed it this morning before I came to work that it's probably best for the time being to think of an alternative. My girlfriend and her friends don't really own anything that are within the price range or significance of a car (their cars are past down) so it might just be the fact that they don't really understand the attachment one does have with object of this nature.

    Quote Originally Posted by wrxtreme06 View Post
    as a female, let me chime in-

    you are 100% right here. her friends are completely disrespectful. i understand accidents do happen, but it seems this is definitely a pattern.

    i dont know if i would "ban" people from my car if i were you, however i would enforce a rule to where everything needs to go in the trunk. if you have beer- put it in the trunk. if you have a purse- put it in the trunk.

    it might seem silly, but if they dont want to follow the rules, they can find another ride.
    Thanks you for your input, and yes no real banning. I don't think I can ever do that to be honest no matter how mad, the main reason I can never go two door lol. I'll just have to be more selective when and when not to.

    Quote Originally Posted by TSlop View Post
    I can't say that I've had this problem, but I feel ya. I've picked up my fiancé and her friends numerous times from the bar, and no one has caused any trouble. I do remember one time she stood stood on my rear bumper on my Speed3 and I had to tell her not to do that ever again!

    She isn't into cars like I am, but at least she respects how I feel about it. In your situation, if her friends ever caused trouble in my car, I would have told her and them to be careful or no more rides. A second time would be the last time I let it happen. After that I'd tell my fiancé that the rides are done and you need to take a taxi. It sounds like her friends don't have much class and respect for other's property. It's not being rude asking for people to respect your property... they should be smart enough to know it's a common courtesy.

    Also, if she has a car I'd use hers instead of mine to chauffeur her around for the bars (I'm assuming that is what your rides are mostly for, but I could be mistaken). That way she can deal with messes on her own.
    It's not mostly the club/bar, It's everything from the mall to the park. There have also been times when my girlfriend asked me to go pick up her friends from so and so because they needed a ride. I've also been more concern about someone's well being because like most, I've been through the times with no car or money so I had to end up finding an alternative way to get around (mostly ended up with me just walking to my destination). It sucks and if I can help them out on behalf of my gf request I don't mind. Better knowing that people in our lives have a higher possibility of being safe with me driving. Plus living in the city isn't the safest, even when I use to walk everywhere I was always worried about getting rob, jump or shot at. She does have her own car but it's also kind of the family car as well lol. It's there when you don't need it but when you do it disappear.

    Quote Originally Posted by McBill View Post
    I'm with everyone else here, you are not in the wrong. Maybe this reaction would have been a little overboard if this was a first time accident, however, it seems that is not the case. You're reaction is perfectly fine and justified and it almost blows my mind that your GF was not taking your side on this one. Respect for other people's property is pretty important in my eyes and should be in everyone's eyes. It seems to be that way in your mind as well, but it does not seem to that way in her friend's minds or even her mind for that matter.... that would be a big problem to me in a lot of ways.

    Solution: No more rides for her friends in your car, period, ever. If they want driven by you somewhere while they are being disrespectful then tell them you are driving one of their cars or your GF's car. If they don't like either of those ideas then they all need to find another ride. Furthermore, if your GF doesn't respect this and your wants, then there is a lot more here that you should be worrying about other than this respect issue with her friends....
    Thanks you as well, my girlfriend understand my concern and knows anytime anything happens in my car I tend to get irritated and she's always act as a second voice for me when people don't listen to me. Last night I was also in the wrong for being so rude so she was just trying to put me in check as well. Of course with me being heated it just didn't sit well that she talked back to me lol. She's always been the one with more common sense.
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  9. #8
    something else forever Germz to Japz's Avatar
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    Well that kinda upset me just reading that bro...

    I've noticed that people who don't work hard for a specific thing or do not value someone else's stuff that they worked hard for to get do not really understand how much it means to them...

    Sounds like your gf's friends are spoiled LOL IT DID NOT FILTER who don't care about other peoples' stuff...

    Tell her to get new friends and also explain to her (after things calm down) why you got upset and why you felt this way and then make her understand how she should have sided with you (her bf and driver and significant other) rather than her ****ty friends...

    This is specifically why I do not let my friends in the back with their food or drinks, only the front where I can supervise, but then again 99% of the people I drive around (besides my girl) are dudes so they understand how cars are special to us haha...
    Last edited by Germz to Japz; 05-29-2015 at 07:38 AM. Reason: curse word came up lol
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    Captain James of the SS Impreza has gone down with the ship Drews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrxtreme06 View Post
    as a female, let me chime in-

    you are 100% right here. her friends are completely disrespectful. i understand accidents do happen, but it seems this is definitely a pattern.

    i dont know if i would "ban" people from my car if i were you, however i would enforce a rule to where everything needs to go in the trunk. if you have beer- put it in the trunk. if you have a purse- put it in the trunk.

    it might seem silly, but if they dont want to follow the rules, they can find another ride.
    I'm not sure what being female has to do with it, but I 100% agree with Dez here. If people aren't going to respect your vehicle, they can find a new ride.
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    something else forever Germz to Japz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drews View Post
    I'm not sure what being female has to do with it, but I 100% agree with Dez here. If people aren't going to respect your vehicle, they can find a new ride.
    it seems to be a pattern with chicks I've noticed though... most guys keep their rooms/bathrooms/homes kinda messy while girls keep their cars kinda messy... at least from what I've seen first hand... not a sexist thing, just a priority thing...
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    Captain James of the SS Impreza has gone down with the ship Drews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Germz to Japz View Post
    I've noticed that people who don't work hard for a specific thing or do not value someone else's stuff that they worked hard for to get do not really understand how much it means to them...
    So this is going to seem weird to you because you're an enthusiast, but most of the people who own vehicles look at them as a means of transportation and nothing more. It translates over especially to younger people who were given their first vehicle and don't understand that people do work hard to pay for nice things.

    Although, I was always taught to respect other peoples belongings, so I'm not sure where the OP's girlfriend's friends learned (or didn't) their life lessons. I was always taught to leave someone else's vehicle in better condition than what it was before you got in it. I've made some mistakes and spilled before, but I've ALWAYS offered to clean up or pay for detail. Same goes with if a friend is nice enough to loan you a vehicle. You clean it and fill it with gas to at least where it was when it was given to you, although I always filled the tank completely. Just the way I was brought up. *shrug*
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    something else forever Germz to Japz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drews View Post
    So this is going to seem weird to you because you're an enthusiast, but most of the people who own vehicles look at them as a means of transportation and nothing more. It translates over especially to younger people who were given their first vehicle and don't understand that people do work hard to pay for nice things.

    Although, I was always taught to respect other peoples belongings, so I'm not sure where the OP's girlfriend's friends learned (or didn't) their life lessons. I was always taught to leave someone else's vehicle in better condition than what it was before you got in it. I've made some mistakes and spilled before, but I've ALWAYS offered to clean up or pay for detail. Same goes with if a friend is nice enough to loan you a vehicle. You clean it and fill it with gas to at least where it was when it was given to you, although I always filled the tank completely. Just the way I was brought up. *shrug*
    I mean I guess I see what you're saying. Like all of my guy friends are into cars like me but our female friends and their girlfriends don't really understand why the cars are so important to us. I definitely always treat other property with just as much care as I do to my own, sometimes even more. I mean I definitely did not mean to say that in a disrespectful way if it came across like that, it's just my female friends and their female friends and my girl's female friends seem to love leaving trash or other garbage and stuff in their cars and sometimes others. It's just a shame those girls treated OP's car that way, especially since he worked so hard for it.
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    You should create a points system. Where every ride with appropriate behavior is rewarded with points. Enough points and it earns them a courtesy ride. If they say they don't want to be treated like children then tell them to stop acting like it, be adults and respect other people's belongings. And you gotta toughen up man. Idk how old you are, but there's nothing wrong with expressing a little anger. I'm a counselor and I'd of gone ape **** crazy if someone had spilled that in my car. Let it out, you were in the right. It's disrespectful to you for them to behave that way and be so entitled. They need to learn a little appreciation.


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    Captain James of the SS Impreza has gone down with the ship Drews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Germz to Japz View Post
    it seems to be a pattern with chicks I've noticed though... most guys keep their rooms/bathrooms/homes kinda messy while girls keep their cars kinda messy... at least from what I've seen first hand... not a sexist thing, just a priority thing...
    When I was single, my house and car were pretty much always spotless. My beater car, I take care of mechanically but I'm not too concerned with the interior since I haul my dogs and tools and it's already beat up a bit. Alternatively, my wife tends to keep ridiculous amounts of paperwork in her car but it's otherwise spotless on the inside other than normal wear and tear from daily driving. All the women that I've known well over the years also kept their vehicles very clean. Messy cars were the exception in my experience. The point I think Dez was making is that, as a female, she can see why other females don't necessarily show respect for someone's vehicle. This doesn't just apply to women though, both genders are guilty of not showing respect for other's belongings. Luckily, my friends are all mature adults who will ask if they can bring drinks, food, etc into my car. I'm very confident that if one of them made a mess they would at least offer to clean it up, although I probably wouldn't hold them to it.
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    Short answer is I would have put an end to those rides for her friends along time ago if that's how they treated my stuff. Give fair warning of the rules, if they arent going to respect your property then they don't need to be riding in it.
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