my boyfriend and i are both enthusiasts so we buy each other car parts for holidays/bdays etc.
no convincing necessary
This is a discussion on How do you convince your spouse!? within the Everyday Impreza Talk forums, part of the Community - Meet other Enthusiasts category; my boyfriend and i are both enthusiasts so we buy each other car parts for holidays/bdays etc. no convincing necessary...
Does she need to have your permission to get shoes and clothes?
Tell her you won't give her the D if you can't buy car parts.
But she can pay for her ice skating lessons every week....i would have been stage 2 with what she spent on ice skatin
The point is that in life, you need to be able to live. If buying parts and modding is your thing, there's no reason why you can't do it. As long as the bills are paid and nopt all your money you have left goes into it so you can actually have some aside for retirement, trveling, dates, new house, whatever...then dude....get your dam exhaust
get a new wife or get a new exhaust. your money. do what makes you happy. if she sees you happily working on your car and the smile on your face when you hear the rumble, she too will be happy....or really pissed off that your car is that loud.. but id go for it and face the consequences later
This stuff gets tricky where family finances and kids are involved. My wife has done the stay-at-home thing for 14 years, and "my money" somehow morphed into "the family's money".
I'm in a good situation now...the wife has been trained to understand: "If Ray has project, Ray is happier boy". But it wasn't that way, years ago. I've been meaning to write a whitepaper called Congrats On Getting Married! Here Are a Few Things You Can Do Over the Next Few Years to Retain Your Financial Identity!
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My wife has an understanding that my hobbies cost money. A little $ here and there is fine. Dropping $6k on an engine rebuild without consulting her would be a major no no.
Also, I spin off on the necessary maintenance. My car NEEDS new struts, so why not upgrade while I'm in there?
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Above should be the first question. It took me the better part of 6 month to get it thru. Then there was nothing on the market for about 2-3 month. And then she OK'd a nicely modded one...
You can't have everything - where would you put it?
We have joint checking and savings accounts, but separate credit cards. I use my credit card for my work travel, so my expense reports pretty much pay my card each month.
I travel about 60-70% of the year, and my company uses a per diem system as an incentive. We get $XX amount of money to spend on food each day you travel, no matter how much you actually use, no meal receipts needed. As long as you aren't out drinking every night, it's pretty easy to save a large chuck of that food money, which is like a bonus at the the end of your trip. This bonus funds my mod budget, and since it truly is a bonus, and not factored into our budget, my wife doesn't care what I spend it on.
That said, like Ray's situation, she also understands that I'm unhappy without a project to work on, so she tries to be reasonable as long as my car doesn't drive us into poverty. For my part, while I like my hobbies, I would never put our finances at risk for them.
I don't believe a girlfriend has any right to dictate your finances. If you're engaged, maybe, since there will be joint financial responsibilities in your future, but a girlfriend has no legal attachments, and if she can't give reasonable concession to your interests, do you really want to spend your lives together?
My wife's hobby is crafting, and while craft supplies are generally inexpensive anyway, she pays for her hobbies with her full time job, plus selling crafts to friends and on online (stationary, knitted items, etc). She just bought a CNC die cut machine, so we'll be able to make vector decals and such, like the Bugeye Mafia stickers...
Last edited by Rambo; 04-16-2013 at 08:49 AM.
We have join checking accounts,savings accounts & credit cards. She found out about car purchases.
At first she would raise hell about it. I think she came to the realization that it keeps me happy. Plus that there isn't much of a point in arguing anyway. And I already have most of what I want. So I don't spend as much. She now knows & doesn't say anything.
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Ooh,hang on. That is the throb of a turbocharged flat four engine. A sound which,all over the world,heralds the imminent arrival of a moron - JC.
Being that I am the major 'breadwinner' in our family - by far - that means by default I am responsible for finances and planning. That makes car parts very easy to get We also have separate 'fun' accounts to spend however we choose.
But to be honest - she pretty much gets whatever she wants and so do I. I'm lucky that her tastes are not expensive.
My GF knows all too well how much I am into my car. She enjoys the hobby as well, and would like to get into it someday herself. She does get concerned though cause I am a bit extravagant with my money at times considering I'm working on paying down a lot of debt. But once we're in a situation where we are fine and saving, as long as bills are paid and we have the rainy day fund put away, then it's fair game.
I understand reality says that a relationship is a commitment, but by no means should someone have a say over what you can and cannot do with your money and your car.
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After all necessary expenses are paid (utilities, bills, food etc...) Savings are taken care of, and each week we allot ourselves some "blow money".. Depending on our goals, blow money changes. Currently were saving so we can move to a more suitable house, so my blow money is $20/week. So if i wanted, i could save that under the mattress, and blow it on an AP after about 6 months.. But that's crazy.. I'd rather blow it on 4 $5 prostitutes each week :what: