Thanks to everyone for the responses. SOA is on the way to inspect my engine and in the meantime I have a loaner from the dealer. Bottom line is that the dealer is doing the right thing by me and is most concerned about my satisfaction and overall experience, going so far as to suggest that if I don't want an engine replacement they would entertain getting me into a new car. I don't know the details behind that but the fact that my dealer is the 2nd largest Subaru dealer in the country gives them some weight when dealing with SOA (or so I was told). I felt MUCH better when I left the dealer last night compared to when I spoke with them on the phone yesterday.
I'm sort of shocked to hear all this sentiment about checking oil levels sometimes as frequently as every week. In my mind, a brand new car shouldn't have those types of problems...ever. I drive about 20 miles roundtrip each day to my office, and while it is local driving I always allow my car to warm up (even if I'm running late). If this really is such a problem then I don't understand why Subaru doesn't provide a low oil level or low oil pressure gauge.
In my case, I think perhaps the oil only started leaking/burning (black soot on my rear bumper) after something was compromised in the engine. If I get back into either my car or another WRX I guess I'll have to make a point to check oil level more regularly just to be safe, but it still seems pretty bizarre to me.
If I wind up with an engine replacement I think I can live with that, so long as the resale value of my car truly hasn't been affected (responses here and the dealer said the value wouldn't be affected). If they go above and beyond and I have the option to get into a new car I'd still really like to have a WRX despite all of this crap. But my ideas of getting a Cobb AP just went right out the window. I'm not sure this would have all gone down the way it has had I tuned the car and given the dealer and/or SOA reason to believe that I was in any way responsible for what happened. Bone stock is going to have to be okay for a long time.
I'll post an update with how this gets resolved so that anyone else that experiences something similar can learn from it. Thanks again for all the support as I'm sure you can all imagine how I felt when this happened. Rock on.