Ok so to make a short story even shorter, the weld holding the frontmost hanger to the catback has completely given way. Like a moron, I forgot to take a before picture. Anyhow...left with a hole the size of a quarter, my car sounded horrible. Took the opportunity to replace my HKS with a Borla Hush. While I wait for the muffler shop to finish my flat flange adapter, I still need to drive around not sounding like a damn Harley-Davidson. So I picked up a 3" fitting from the plumbing section at Home Depot. 5 minutes later, voila:
DISCLAIMER: This is only a quick fix until I get my exhaust swapped out. I wouldn't recommend anyone actually doing this for a prolonged period of time.