As with most of my little encounters, I was simply off running errands when some guy in a Monte Carlo SS of some sort took the lane next to me at a light (older body style, from when they looked like the Lumina). Anyways, just ahead is a funny intersection where most people take right but you can still go ahead and with how the guy kept looking over, it became obvious he was going to try and blow by me to get over because, obviously, an STi is a pushover for a stock Monte Carlo.
Light changes, I have a better reaction but only go about half throttle. He doesn't pass but gets RIGHT behind me...so close I can't see his lights or grill at first. I tap the brakes, so he gestures at me and gets closer. I keep tapping the brakes, so he got so close I couldn't see his hood. Tapped brakes a bunch of times, then actually got on the brakes to slow down so I see his front dip for the ground. Good...he's learning. The right turn lane is coming up and the jackass tries to be cute and go around me before I get over but long after my signal is on...so I show him 3rd gear on an STi at 45 mph is too much for his POS. Cue stereotypical gesture and facial expression of disgust from Monte driver...and shaking head, finger wagging response from me. No no, bad dog...you get nothing.
So, Ass Bandit stays glued to me through the turn (car ahead slowing me down and opening gap between myself and car in front of me). After it, you have to merge left into traffic. There are two lanes to take. Car in front of me takes first lane, Bandit tries to take the other but I made sure to leave a big enough gap for rapid acceleration. Once more, Ass Bandit learns the STi's 3rd gear is too much for him. Cue the typical Ass Bandit response of putting the gas to the floor to tailgate and TRY to intimidate. So, already in 6th gear by then, I determine to teach him a thing or three...again again. I downshift to 5th and put it to the floor, as there's no traffic in front of me, a 2 lane bridge and no shoulders in sight. I hit 90 mph and let off with Ass Bandit a tiny spec in the rearview, then coast to the next light and make my turn. He slowed down enough for all the traffic behind him to pass him so he wouldn't have to get next to me again.
The lesson is over; school's out. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Anyone feel like some sort of petition for tougher license testing with random retesting, mandatory testing at certain ages and all? I'm sick of this kind of driver...