Yeah, I know... Not a fair race. The 2000 runs, what, high 14's? So it's like kicking a retarded kid in the sack just to watch his expression change – funny, but wrong.  But this driver really needed an attitude adjustment. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
TIWMIOB  I pull up to a light, and I’m in the right-hand lane of a double left-arrow turn. An S2000 is in the left. I look over and am treated to a dismissive sneer as he jams the car in first gear, revs and creeps up slightly. Ok, have it your way pal.
We get the green arrow, and he takes off moderately hard. I’m in the right lane (the outside of the turn), and decide to pace him. About mid-corner, I hear him get on it hard . We’re coming up on a light, so both start to slow. I’m a little annoyed at his display at the last light and decide to set the hook in this fish. Laughing, I shout, “you don’t have a chance”.
There’s a heavily loaded pickup truck in the left lane at the next light, but I figure he’s going for the left turn lane coming up that is a freeway onramp. I leapfrog the truck, which goes straight and Honda boy drops in behind me, glaring. Perfect.
It is a >90 degree turn, so I decide to leave fairly easily, and hammer it when it goes straight. Although there is only one turn lane, the ramp starts off as two lanes, and merges to one before getting to the freeway. The two-lane section is maybe 100 yards long.
Before I can even get through the intersection, Honda boy is on my tail, going to the right lane, flogging the poor little beast for all it’s worth, smirking. He thinks he’s going to show me up by passing me on the short two-lane section!
Just as I cross into the ramp, he’s about even with my passenger door, and I nail it. A quick run through the gears, and as I hit third, I look back and he’s 4-5 car lengths back.
I merge onto the freeway and get into the #3 lane and loiter waiting for him to catch up. He’s still flogging it, but backs off hard when he approaches me. As he slowly creeps by on my left, I look over. He won’t meet my glance – staring rigidly ahead, stone-faced. I apply some throttle and pull away to see if he wants to play some more. He’s still comatose.
A sore loser, true, but perhaps he’s learned a lesson today – don’t “dis” stock-looking econo-boxes.
’03 WRX, Vishnu Stage 2.
Bone stock looking except for way-too-big exhaust tip.
 Yes, I know I'm going to hell, why do you ask?
 There I was, minding my own business. The online forum equivalent of "Dear Penthouse, I never thought I'd be writing one of these letters, but..."
 Could’ve just been the VTEC kicking in, maybe he was hard on it the whole time. Dunno.